To Live...

A while back then a friend said something to me:

"I would prefer to give everything I have and live for just that moment than to live a sham of a life never expressing my feelings and sharing with others." - A. McIntyre

So many times in life, I feel like I've gone out there and I've hoped, I've tried. And in the end so often, just so, so often, I feel like I've fallen on my face. Like I've done it all wrong. It's seems like if there could have been a mistake, I would have made it. And sometimes I've felt like there was no way that I could do anything right. And sometimes, it makes me want to just run and hide. Hide from a world where so much seems wrong, where so much seems broken.

But...

I've honestly struggled, and tried to do the best that I could. I've loved. I've laughed. I've cried. And in the end, I wouldn't trade it at all. Despite the hurt, the pain, the disappointment, I still think that it has been worth it.

It's the moment when I feel the vibrations from a musical instrument as they carry a piece of soul from the one who plays it. The moment when I stand on a rock hundreds of feet above the ground and feel the wind sweep around me, almost as though it could carry me away. The moment when I see the pure joy in a child as it plays. The moment when I see a tiny new blade of grass pushing to the surface from a soft, brown, mother earth. The moment when I stand out on a bluff and watch the sun set, it's golden rays spreading out across the sky above me. The moment when I look deep into another persons eyes, and I see a piece of their soul. And those moments when I sit and watch the stars, and everything is so quiet that I could hear a pin drop. And I wonder....I wonder who? Who can fathom something so grand? Something so wonderful?

Those moments, they are the moments that I feel loved. And those are the times when I believe that if I continue to try my best, things will work okay.

So, like my friend so beautifully said, don't settle for a sham of a life. Give everything you have, because in the end, it will be worth it.

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This photo is taken at The Red Butte Gardens at the University of Utah.

On engagement sessions...

This is one of my favorite shots from an engagement session that I did about seven weeks ago. I've totally ignored my blog lately, so they are actually married now.

Out of people shots, I believe engagement sessions just might be my favorite to shoot. The two people are usually so accommodating of each other that they tend to trip over themselves in the process, and the entire atmosphere has a unique and beautiful energy about it. Two people on the verge of making a commitment to each other that will change their lives forever. And they usually can't hardly wait to walk down the isle.

This is my sister Charlotte, who has modeled for me in experimental photography sessions many times, and her fiancé. This is one of the last shots that we took that evening. I had not been out with the camera in a while, and it was a very nice, pleasant experience. Thanks goes out to my assistant Carol for her help during that session.